I am officially attempting to make a change in my life for the healthier.

During the past year and a half, I have gained over 20 lbs. I don’t think that I’m overweight, because I’m not. And I think 10 of those pounds are probably beneficial to me–adding curves where before there were none. That being said, I don’t like the 10 extra pounds, nor do I like the fact that I don’t see an end to it. I have been consistently gaining weight for over a year, and it has finally come to a head that unless I take active steps against the weight gain, it won’t stop.

I sat down and assessed what I thought were the factors that were contributing to my weight gain. They are as follows: Excessive Coke drinking, inconsistent physical activity, & birth control(?). The Nutrition class that I’m taking has opened my eyes to a whole new world of calories and balanced meals, as well as helping me be (painfully) aware of my shortcomings in areas of health. “Thin does not equal healthy,” the book says, adding, “and you ain’t gonna be skinny for long, sucka.”

First, I tackled the issue that I needed professional help with: birth control. I went to see my doctor who informed me that the pill I was taking was testosterone based, and could have had an effect on my appetite. I said, “OH, THIS CAGED MONSTER, YOU MEAN?” as I was (literally) still finding chick-fil-a crumbs in the folds of my jeans. Yeah. Could possibly have increased appetite. The doctor agreed to switch me to a different, non-testosterone based pill with a smaller dose that will still do the job, while putting the minimum amount of drugs in me possible. The reason that I kicked this plan off this morning is because as of Saturday, I took the last of the remaining FAT PILLS.

Secondly, excessive Coke drinking. Like a gay cowboy, “I’ve been tryin’ ‘a quit you (coca-cola, lover of mine)” for at least 45 light years, and I have thus far only been a miserable failure. It wasn’t until I was reading a chapter about vegetables in my Nutrition book that I realized the error of my ways. “Vegetables without fat (dressing, etc),” it states, “are sometimes gross. So if it takes the fat to get the veggies down, eat the fat.” It helps if it’s good, non-saturated fats, but even still. Eat the veggies. — How does that relate to Cokes? Like this: when I don’t buy Cokes at the grocery store, (which come in 12 oz cans) I buy a coke at work from the vending machine. A 20 oz. bottle of Coke out of the vending machine. Sometimes 2 a day. So here’s my plan: no more than 12 oz. of soda a day. I’ve set up my diet game-plan to absorb the extra calories, and GOOD GOSH, I LOVE COKES. Maybe I’ll start getting the smaller, 8 oz. cans, or perhaps try to wean myself as I become more and more health crazed. But as for right now, I’m going to start becoming more healthy by putting a cap on my Coke drinking instead of trying to eliminate it; I’m going to set a goal for myself that I feel is both helpful and achievable.

Lastly: Zack and I sat down together to create a plan to help tackle inactivity. We assessed my current abilities, set goals, and created a work out plan with resistance training (per doctor’s recommendation, women need to do resistance training after the age of 21, because muscle mass breakdown results in added fat in the body. Since the female body peaks at around the age of 20 in regards to muscle mass, breakdown/weight gain has to be combated with more than just cardio.) and cardio. My goal is to exercise around 60 minutes a day in order to align myself with the recommendations of the US Dept. of Health and Human Services, and in order to look like Madonna.

KIDDING. She looks WEIRD! I don’t want to have mountains of muscles on my arms. I’d just like the gentle molehill of my belly to go the way of bellbottoms and Zack Morris’ cell phone. Away.

I’ll do 30 minutes a day of resistance training via push-ups, sit-ups, planks, squats, etc. Then I’ll do 30 minutes a day of running. I’d like to be able to run 3 10-minute miles without walking. Right now I can run/walk 4 miles in 50 minutes, so you can see that I’ve got a ways to go. I’ll be starting by trying to run a mile without walking, and by making sure that I’m moving for at least 15-20 minutes.

SO THERE. That is my plan. Now I’ve said it, and the whole internet knows and I can’t just sit on my butt and do nothing about it anymore. I figure this plan, with a dash of ‘eating better’ and the threat of public humiliation should be what I need in order to get it in gear.

I got up this morning at 6 and completed stage one of the daily plan. That’s when I realized Zack had set the dials on my workout plan to “MURDER WIFE.” I survived, but survival doesn’t mean that I didn’t fall down the stairs on my way to eat breakfast after the workout because I was so weak. NOT THAT I DID THAT. (I totally did that.)