Working out is HARD, Y’all.
Mundane activities that have never hurt before are causing me moan-out-loud pain. Activities like turning in my chair to pick up the phone, backing down the driveway, and (my personal favorite time to be uncomfortable) LAYING IN BED. I was flossing this morning, slightly leaning forward over the sink towards the mirror thinking, “THIGHS. ABS. BOTH HURT. While flossing?!?” But honestly. Flossing is real exhausting to my core. Don’t even get me started about sneezing, AKA TORTURE.
On top of the workout that I’ve been doing every morning at 6, I’ve also been running/walking when I get home from work. I have to split up my daily Hour O’ouch into two 30 minute sessions, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to finish the hour. And honestly, right now I’m probably only doing about 50 minutes, but if you count the 5 minutes of fast-walking I do going to and from my car every morning, that equals 60, and HONESTLY. Let’s not get nit-picky, okay? I’m TRYING.
Yesterday I took Scout with me on my run. This was a pretty big deal, because a.) she’s still a 5-month old puppy and b.) she’s never been running with me before. She’s fairly well trained when it comes to walks–about 70% of the time I can get her to pace herself and walk beside me without tugging on the leash. The other 30% of her time is spent trying to get me to go faster. For that reason, I thought she was going to be really into running with me. And maybe she was. Maybe I just don’t understand what “into” looks like in the canine world. But instead of looking all graceful and smooth like some earthy California babe and her well-trained dog, we both looked kind of like Phoebe on the episode of Friends when she runs in Central Park. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s some descriptive wording for you: TOTALLY RIDICULOUS. So maybe she totally loved it?
Scout was constantly running much faster than I wanted to run (moving forward…), but she never stopped looking at me (…+looking backward…). She, much like her owner, is conflicted with the inability to run or walk in a straight line if she’s looking anywhere but forward. So that went gracefully (…=catastrophic meltdown). Adding to the chaos, when she would run faster, I would run faster. So soon, I was sprinting full-speed ahead while playing hop-scotch/dog-hurtle with a puppy who was so outlandishly bonkers that she was practically doing back-flips down the sidewalk.
So, after we were done with THAT block, we totally walked for a while. Fast walked, though. Seriously. Real fast. Like, calorie-slayer speed.