I have effectively convinced myself that if I do not have a vacation soon, I will implode.

I know that I’m being dramatic, but I have put myself into a real predicament, and that predicament is called the T-minus Syndrome.

Allow me to explain.  You know the feeling when you have to pee really bad while you’re in the car?  I hate stopping to pee. I also hate taking the time to go to the bathroom, so on Saturday night when we left my in-laws house, I didn’t go to the bathroom.  About 1 mile away from their house (and 50 or so from ours), I thought, “Oh no. I feel the urge to urinate.”  Surely it couldn’t be that bad, though, because it was the first urge.  First urges can wait.

25 minutes later, I truly thought I was going to die from my need to urinate.  I counted down the minutes and the turns and the red lights until we would be home.  I knew somehow that I could make it to the house, but not one SINGLE SECOND LONGER, and please, don’t say anything funny between here and there.  That’s the T-minus Syndrome.  If you would have asked me to abstain from releasing for 60 more seconds, I wouldn’t have made it.  I preconditioned myself to the exact distance between the in-laws and my house; that was all the ‘hold it’ that I had in me.

See?  Are you getting how the T-minus Syndrome works?  (Same concept can be applied to most childhood games: How long can you hold your breath?  How long can you stay under water?  How long can you hold this salted ice cube against your skin?  How many rolly-pollies can you eat in one sitting?  How many ant bites can you acquire before you cry? Etc.)

And so, here I am today.  I know that I just have to work the rest of today, and a few hours tomorrow.  After that I’m free! Free as a bird! Free for a vacation where I will go places and do things with people! People with whom I do not work! People who live in another state, a state where the temperature is 80, and there are MOUNTAINS.  As a result of this count-down to work freedom, I’m about 6.5 work hours away from vacation, and if I had to work for 7 more pre-vacation hours I’d be headed for a TOTAL BLAZING MELTDOWN.

Deep breaths.