First, wake up at 6:00 a.m. in Sarah1′s bed without your husband. And while you’re lying in bed without your husband, who is working on Thanksgiving, listen to the sound of a screaming, doesn’t-feel-too-hot 13 month old niece in her room across the house.  Start to get used to the precedent that is being set.  It’s going to be an incredible day.

Next, don’t get up when you alarm goes off.  You shouldn’t stay in bed, you should get up and get ready for the Turkey Trot, but don’t.  The baby isn’t crying, and you’re between snoozes.  Just stay in bed.

Instead, get up when Sarah1 comes in your room to inform you that your brother-in-law Matt has severe GI Tract issues, and has been up since 4 a.m. with liquefying insides.  Remember that you recently learned about food poisoning in Microbiology, and use the internet to research salmonella food poisoning symptoms to verify.  Regret that Matt didn’t pay attention the night before when we discovered that The Turkey still had some uncooked portions, and that he didn’t get his turkey off the had-been-microwaved plate like everyone else.

Spend the better part of the morning trying to convince Sarah1 that the sickness she feels isn’t a.) the same cold that that caused Kate to scream her head off early this morning, nor is it b.) the same food poisoning as Matt.  Watch and wait as it becomes more apparent through the day that the sickness she feels is, in fact, Option A.

Take a shower.  Go to Sarah1′s brand new shower, turn on the hot water, step in, and watch as your body parts pack up and go their separate ways, because I LIED TO THEM. NOT HOT WATER. VERY COLD WATER.  Inform Sarah1 to add “guest shower” to the list of things for the builders to fix while you’re on your way to the girl’s bathroom.  Notice that the kitchen sink is making a weird gurgling sound. Assume it’s normal. Wake up Kate from her nap on the way in.  Oops. Take a shower.  Wake Kate up again on your way out of the shower. Oops again.

Get dressed in your Thanksgiving outfit. Take your time playing with Abbie.  Grab your new nail polish and head for the Living Room for some quality girl time.  On your way out of the room, notice that there is 1/2 an inch of standing water in the foyer. Call Sarah1.

Freak out.

Notice that the water is in the foyer, a hallway, under walls, running down the driveway, and on the back porch.  Notice how it is in the bathroom, seeping into carpet, and in the master closet.  Notice that Sarah1 might need a paper bag for the hyperventilating.  Watch Matt hopelessly get in and out of bed several times, each time determined to help with damage control, each time getting back into bed because WOAH. NOT BETTER YET. Find the emergency shut off valve and turn of all the water to the house.

Call Father-in-Law, Kevin.  Wake him up from a nap. Frantically request that he bring over the shop vac because EXPLOSION OF WATER AND HELP.  Grab 350,000,000 towels and a broom.  Sweep water into barricades of absorption.  Make jokes so Sarah1 doesn’t try to drown herself in the puddles.  Assure her that she will not have to move to Kansas just because she has some water in her house.  Sound really, really sure of yourself.  Get most of the water sucked out of the carpet, and the rest of the floors dry.  Shop-vac lots of water out from underneath the walls.

Feel relieved as Kevin announces that he’s found the problem, the power to the septic system wasn’t on.  At least the problem is solved, you know?  Now just go suck some water out of some carpet.  Then mourn severely when you find out that there was not one, but TWO problems with the septic, first that it wasn’t on, and second, that the pipes were crushed during building.  That’s why there’s a flood of 1 month’s worth of sewage in the backyard.  But don’t sweat it.  The stuff in the house, that’s mostly the last thing that went into the system:  Sarah2′s shower. Gross, but better than Matt’s food poisoning, that’s for sure.

Go hang out at Paula and Kevin’s.  Enjoy family and downtime and naps. Wash your car for the first time in months. Get a phone call confirming that Jared and Jenn are ENGAGED! Have “Cell-uh-brate good times, COME ON!” on Repeat 1 in your head for about two hours as a result of the phone call.

Watch Sarah1 get sicker and sicker.  Watch Sarah1 and Matt go home to sleep in some quiet while we watch the kids for them.  Get the kids down for a nap. Enjoy a quick nap yourself.

Wake up to the sound of the Thanksgiving guests arrival.  Work really hard to figure out the Family Friend’s names. Fake it til you Make it.  Eat some good turkey. Enjoy the company of family and new-to-you friends.

Head home at about 8, so you can see your husband on his favorite holiday.

Laugh to yourself as it rains on your freshly washed car on the way home.