Zack is concerned with our safety.  Zack has always been a cautious person.  He’s never been one to flippantly put himself in danger; he’s the kind of guy that goes to great pains to remove “anything that even looks like it’s valuable” from the car before we leave to go into a store/movie/etc.  This is not new news.

What I didn’t expect, though, is for his cautiousness and penchant for safety to grow at a notable and consistent rate for the rest of his life.  Whereas Zack was reasonably reserved when he was 18 and 21, now, at 27, he’s borderline obsessed.  For example, Zack is always saying that when anyone goes for a walk/run/bike ride, they should have some form of ID on them.  Not only is this the law, he painstakingly explains, but it’s a good idea.  You never know when you’re going to get hit by a car, you know! Then what would you do?  You’d be in the hospital laying around for DAYS before anyone figured out who you were!  To him, however, the rules do not directly apply.  What does he take with him when we go on our road rides?  A large knife.  The knife, ironically enough, isn’t even the greatest testament to his desire for road-riding safety–because not only does he take a knife with him (“We could get jumped!”), he also takes one of my rubber bands and wraps it around the tip of the knife, so that it doesn’t accidentally fall open while he’s carrying it in the waistband of his spandex bike shorts.

That’s right, He safe-guards his safe-guard item.  It’s borderline outrageous; I have to carry a cell phone and and ID, and he carries a weapon.  According to him, we’re prepared for any situation.

Another way in which his “Safety-First” attitude has materialized in our lives is his new interest in (and obsession with) ‘Home Invasion’ statistics.  According to Zack, home invasions are on the rise.  A home invasion, for those who don’t know, is “the crime of entering a private and occupied dwelling, with the intent of committing a crime, often while threatening the resident of the dwelling.” (via) It’s just a fact of life that when the economy is bad, crime goes up.  There are more cases of robberies, burglaries and shoplifting now than there were two years ago.  Apparently, there are also more cases of a couple of jack-asses feeling like it’s a good idea to bust into your house and try to take all your stuff from you while holding you at gunpoint.

This idea, while not very bothersome to me, (we live in a decent neighborhood, we don’t have super nice stuff, I can’t imagine how anyone would ever target us) makes Zack insane.  He is constantly preparing for such an occasion.  If a door in the house locks, he locks it–even if it’s an interior door.  Remember that door that always used to lock me into the laundry room?  It has an old key, and Zack locks it every night before we go to bed.  All anyone would have to do is a.) kick in the door, or b.) break the glass and unlock it, so I never bother to lock that door.  Also, to get to that door they’d have already gotten through a.) the back door and b.) the glass door, so I figure HEY. I’ll already be awake. But Zack doesn’t care.  He thinks of that as just “1 more buffer, 10 more seconds,” that will alert him and allow him to, I don’t know, whirl open the gun safe for me so I can grab the shot gun?

All of this is a lot of work-up to say that there is now a new safety device in our home.  If you were to try to kick in, say, our FRONT door, you would be S.O.L..  Because now, our front door has a massive, almost 1″-in-diameter deadbolt on it.  That deadbolt, however, isn’t 40″ above the floor like a normal deadbolt.  No, no.  This deadbolt is drilled into the floor.  The floor of our Rent House.

Zack, with the help of a drill and a dremmel tool, drilled a MASSIVE hole into the floor of the door frame so that this huge, silver, state-lockdown-looking piece of metal can slide into the hardwood and protect us from any unwanted visitors.  Ever since he did this, I’ve been giggling at him.  Don’t get me wrong–I really appreciate the fact that he cares for me so deeply that he’s willing to risk our rental deposit.  I really, really do.  It’s just funny, though.

Yesterday as Zack lifted the deadbolt to let us out of the house so we could run a few errands, I just started laughing.  He said something to the effect of, “You’ll appreciate it some day,” or, “You make fun of me now, but home invasions are on the rise!”  I can’t remember exactly what he said.  I said back, “I’ve never discouraged you.  I’ve laughed at it, sure, because it’s kind of funny, but I’ve never said, ‘No, Zack, probably not a good idea to drill that 1″ wide hole in the floor of this home that we RENT.’” He said, “Yeah, you laugh now, but Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get us.”