I was feeling unmotivated this morning.  Not unhealthy, but just unmotivated.  Whole rolled oatmeal and a banana for breakfast, yes, but I didn’t go run.  It was cold.  I had Grey’s Anatomy on DVR.  I’m enjoying being (home) alone for the first time in weeks.  Can’t ruin that with running, right?

Then I pulled on my jeans to get ready to go have my hair cut and colored — an appointment Sarah1 scheduled for us.  I found my favorite pair of jeans, declared them too dirty to wear.  I found my back-up pair of jeans and pulled them on.  Then I tried to find my black belt to wear with these jeans.  These jeans that I bought 6 or 8 months ago because not a single other pair of my blue jeans would fit onto my consistently growing body.  My fat jeans.

I couldn’t find the black belt anywhere, and that’s when I realized that I can’t wear these jeans, my fat jeans, if I don’t have a belt.  I don’t just want the belt because I like belts.  I need this belt.

Opening my bottom dresser drawer, I dig to the very bottom.  I dig to the place where I’ve hidden the jeans that I can’t wear, the I’m-too-fat-for-these-jeans jeans.  I pull on a pair of pants I haven’t been able to fit into for 1.5 years, and they zip up.  I run to the bedroom and examine myself in the full length mirror.  No muffin top, no rolls of fat spilling out over the edges of the front, back and sides of these jeans.  The fat jeans need a belt and my skinny jeans fit again.

Holy crap.  This working out and eating right stuff is actually working.

I’ve found my motivation again.