Runner’s World’s August 2010 edition contains an article about getting you “Tri-Ready In 6 Weeks!” Because I am chewing on the idea of doing a triathlon, and because I am a sucker for a work-out schedule, I flipped open the magazine to see what it said.

When I found a sprint-triathlon guide, I was stoked.  I want to do a triathlon, yes, but I don’t want to do a crazy triathlon.  I’m aiming for a ‘sprint’ distance, which means swimming about 300 meters, biking about 15 miles and running about 3 miles. As soon as I read the introduction to the article, I knew I was going to buy the magazine and make it my new work-out bible.  It reads: “Assuming you can swim one lap of a pool (50 meters) nonstop and bike for 30 minutes without resting, you can train for a sprint-distance triathlon.”

I was like, “I CAN DO THOSE THINGS!” I can swim 50 meters without stopping! (Hell, I can swim 100 meters without stopping!  I almost drown at the end, but I can do it! Most every time!) I can ride for 30 minutes without stopping!  I can even ride for an hour without stopping!  And that doesn’t even make me feel like I’m going to die!  I am totally ready to start getting ready for a triathlon!”

I took the magazine home.  I read the articles.  I settled down with a calendar.  I started to dissect the workout plan.  The first day says: BIKE – 4 drill sets + 20 minutes moderate.  I spent 10 minutes figuring out what that meant.  As soon as I’d deciphered the insanity that Runner’s World was alluding to when they wrote the words “drill set”, I moved on to day #2. SWIM – 4 drill sets (500 meters total).  I spent another 20 minutes trying to figure out a.) what a swimming “drill set” was and b.) trying to picture each of the (insane) strokes that are involved in each set.  I finally decided to not freak out about that until the time came.  Besides.  It says I can “rest as much as needed between each pool length.”  No sweat.

Then I moved on to Day #3: RUN – 40 minutes moderate with 4 x 100 meter strides.  And that’s when I realized–CRAP. Runner’s World magazine didn’t list a running prerequisite because Runner’s World magazine assumes that I am awesome at running. Oops.

Excuse me while I try to re-build my running endurance.  I’m sure this will be quick, easy and buckets of fun.