This is a picture of what happens to me when I touch Zack:

Despite its appearances, that is not a hickey.  It’s simply a rash that is the result of my skin touching his facial hair.  And oh, it gets better.  It doesn’t just happen on my neck, oh no.  It happens all over my body.  So when we’re snuggling in the morning and I’m the little spoon and he’s the big spoon?  This is what appears on my back.  And when we’re hugging each other goodbye in the morning before I go to school?  This is what I get on my neck.

If you did a white blood cell count on this bad boy, you’d find a lot of Eosinophils, a.k.a. the Air Force.  Well meaning, but a little misguided.

No need for an inflammatory immune response, guys.  Zack was just giving me a hug.