I live in a house that was built in the 40s.  Apparently, that was before the revolutionizing invention of the modern spring.  I say that because our door stoppers, (you know, the kind that usually go “boing!” and entertain kids and pets for hours?) are not made of springs. They are made of solid, unforgiving metal.  Solid, invisible, little rods of metal sticking out of our walls and waiting for you.

Like, for instance, the door stopper in the bathroom.  The door stopper that is about, oh, ankle height in the wall of our bathroom.  Right where one would stand to, say, hang a towel on the bathroom door’s towel hook.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, A solid metal rod to the ankle makes for some FIERCE PAIN.  I just clocked my ankle on that effing god-forsaken door stopper, and I clocked it with gusto!  Right after I slammed my ankle bone on some stainless steel, I hit the floor fast.

Instantaneous swelling and immense pain.  It looks like I have two ankle bones on the outside of my left ankle.  I can’t imagine that I broke it–I can still walk on it.  But great googily moogily, this freaking hurts.

Pain, pain, pain.