The following is an actual text message conversation between the Mrs and me.  It occurred recently when I was out and about at a late hour, and she was not.

Me: You awake?
Sarah: Still jaw with here.
Me: ?
Sarah:  Jawing with nothing in the nurses.

At this point in time, I made the decision to call her, because despite the obvious disconnect in that I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, her response did in fact verify that yes, she was awake.

Me: Hey, now that I know you’re awake, is everything okay? And what does ‘Still jaw with here’ mean?
Sarah: You know, jawing.
Me: No, I don’t know!  Where are you?
Sarah: At the hospital.
Me: At the hospital?  Why are you there? Is something wrong?
Sarah: It’s today at the hospital.
Me (becoming more concerned): What happened?  What hospital are you at?
Sarah: I’m not there now.
Me: Okay, where are you now? Why were you at the hospital?  And are you on medication or something?
Sarah: I’m safe.  I’m at your family’s house.
Me: And you weren’t at the hospital?
Sarah: No.
Me: Are you drunk?
Sarah: Yes.
Me: Okay.  I’ll let you sleep it off.  I love you.

Since then I’ve done my best to figure out what sort of texting auto-predict malfunction occurred during our strange conversation, but for the life of me I cannot decipher what she was trying to say.  Ultimately though, despite her protests to the contrary, she wanted to say ‘jawing.’  Once is a mistake, twice is intentional.

In the words of a former president, “Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice…..don’t get fooled again.”

Thank you George W.  Thank you Sarah.  God Bless America!

Post Script – Sarah claims to have been sleep-drunk.  Sure, Sarah.  Keep jawing on that one!