My parents got to babysit the twins for a few days over the holidays. I saw them yesterday for the first time in over a year. They are so big, and so fun.
I brought them a couple of Tonka Trucks and they were huge hits. Zack insisted that boys love trucks, and he was right*.
This picture of me holding the twins is fuzzy, but I love it anyway. I mean, how could you not?
*(Zack is always right.)
Tonight’s blog is brought to you by my brother-in-law’s latest Facebook status:
“Abbie’s prayer before bed tonight:
‘Dear God, thank you that we have Jesus, Bepaw (my dad), and God.’
Damn. Dad ranks up there with Jesus and God.”
Zack and I just calculated the sum total of all the money we have paid in rent for the last four years.
I don’t recommend doing that.
It makes homelessness seem kind of appealing.
Housing is expensive.
When all else fails. When you feel so sad you don’t know what to do with yourself. When everything makes you tired and all you want to do is sleep, call your friends. Light a fire in their fire pit. Bring a old bottle of port. And laugh like you will never laugh again. Soak up the community. Live life, for it is far, far too short.
[Setting: Zack, Sarah, and Michael are at the dining room table, eating.]
Michael: Sometimes your mom calls me Eeyore. What’s that about?
Sarah: I’d guess it’s because of the time that you were Eeyore in that Christmas parade with us.
Michael: I have no memory of such an event.
Sarah: Seriously?
Michael: What parade?
Sarah: The Christmas parade! We went to it when my mom was still working for the city as a party planner? And she was in charge of the parade?! You were Eeyore, and I was Tigger!
Michael: I’ve got nothing.
Sarah: I have pictures. I can prove it. Let me go find my photo album.
Michael: You mean you have, like, PRINTED pictures of this?
Sarah: Yeah. It was a long time ago, back when we printed pictures.
<Sarah goes to find the photo album, returns with the photo of the event, pictured below.>
Sarah: Nevermind. That wasn’t you. That was Betsy. And I was Eeyore, apparently. And she wasn’t Tigger, she was Pooh.
Michael: Razor sharp memory, there, Sarah.
Sarah: Shut up.
Michael: But seriously, I think I tried on that Eeyore costume once. Maybe that’s why your mom calls me that.
I found out this morning that my best friend’s little brother, Jordan, died unexpectedly last night. Please, send all your love and prayers to the Blakeney family.
I love you, Blakeney family. My heart is breaking with yours.
(Pictured, L to R: Corrie, Katy, Tyler and Jordan — the four Blakeney siblings.)
I purposefully dropped some shredded cheese on the floor while I was making myself nachos for dinner tonight. I only did it because of the way the cat came running, literally, into the kitchen after he heard me pull the bag of cheese outta the fridge and crack it open. It’s not often that I see a cat get up and run towards something. (Unless that something is a bird flailing around, ready to be killed. When that’s the case, the cat always runs.) I figure that kind of feline enthusiasm should be rewarded with dairy products.
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When I got home from work yesterday, Zack had a Christmas mix playing over the stereo system in the living room. (The same one he posted for all of you to listen to.) He had made me dinner — the kind of dinner that required him to use a cook book and follow a recipe! There were steaks and fancy soups and salads involved, and it was all quite delicious. He cracked open an outrageously good bottle of wine, and the two of us had a very special Christmas Eve, despite my wretched holiday work schedule. After we were done eating, we watched the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, which I had never seen before. (Did you know that was originally released in the 1960s?!) I am so lucky to have a husband who cares about me like Zack does. He even said, “I’ve already blogged for you!” This man, y’all, he totally gets me.
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Today was crazy on the Unit. There were a lot of sick and hurt people out in the world today. My co-workers say that Christmas is usually a slow day to work, but that was not the case today. Today was generally insane. My day, however, was pretty calm. I was in a nice little groove, and I was on top of all of my work all day long. I found myself with extra time. I was able to help out my co-workers as they got admit after admit. I even got to jump in as a part of a massive code blue. I had a good day. My first really, really good day.
The bosses on the unit are, unfortunately, not known for their positive reinforcement. Usually, the only time you hear from the supervisors is when you’ve done something wrong. But today one of my bosses told me that I was doing a good job — better than average, even, she said.
I know that I make a daily habit out of putting my feelings into words here on the blog, but there is just no way I can express how good it made me feel when she told me that I was doing good work. I really, really, really needed to hear that today.
Because, every day at work is different. I never know what to expect from one shift to the next. Even if I have the same patients two days in a row, there is no guarantee that my second day will be anything like the first. So, just because I had one good day today doesn’t mean that I know everything. It doesn’t mean that I’m the greatest–anymore than having a bad day means that I’m the worst. All of the seasoned nurses that I’ve talked to said that nursing, at least at first, is very cyclical. For a while, they tell me, I will feel like I’ve got everything all under control. I’ll get into a groove. I’ll feel good. And then, one day, the shit will hit the fan, and I’ll (once again) feel like I don’t know anything. And I’ll learn from that experience. And I’ll grow. And I’ll be a better nurse for it. And then, eventually, I’ll feel like I have it all under control again.
The nurse who told me about the cycles said that she experiences these cycles in about 6 month intervals. So far, my experience has been that I cycle through the “I got this” and the “NO I DO NOT GOT THIS” feelings about 3 or 4 times each shift. Today, I lasted the whole 12 hours in the “I got this” cycle, so I’m chalking that up as a win.
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Merry Christmas, Y’all.
Behold, I (zack) give you my top 10 Christmas songs compilation. Stoke the fire, spike the eggnog, and settle down for a long winter’s nap with this playing in the background.
1. Michael Buble – Santa Claus is Coming to Town: This song serves as a reminder to us all: screw up and Santa’s watching. From the moment the meandering bass line starts, there’s no doubt that Santa is a bad ass. It used to be a simple children’s song but now we know that this town belongs to Kris Kringle, the kind of guy who makes Frank Sinatra remember he’s just a little guy named Francis who used to wet the bed.
2. The Drifters – White Christmas: Sorry Bing, this song belongs to The Drifters. An Army buddy of mine thinks the Crosby movie is completely ridiculous because “hundreds of former soldiers are not going to travel across the country just because some retired general is feeling sad.” If you’re like me, it probably conjures up images of Macaulay Culkin, but hey, don’t we all love Home Alone? “This is my house. I have to defend it!”
3. Bing Crosby – Mele Kalikimaka: Chevy Chase, Randy Quaid, and a whole lot of hilarity come to mind with this classic, but its so much more. When the cold and snow have gotten the best of you, when your Christmas bonus is in the shitter and your family is driving you crazy, well, there’s always a nice tropical retreat far far away from it all.
4. Vince Guaraldi Trio – Christmastime is Here (Instrumental): Charlie Brown comics should be required reading for all children. Today’s kids always hear about how awesome they are, but good ol’ Charlie Brown just can’t seem to win. He’s a refreshing dose of reality to our maladjusted self-absorbed youth. Vince Guaraldi composed a masterpiece with this one.
5. Nat King Cole – The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting…): Nat King Cole’s middle name is really Adams. King was a nickname he earned while performing at jazz clubs. I don’t really have any funny anecdotes or remarks for this one. He’s just awesome.
6. James Taylor – Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: I admit, I have a certain affinity for the more somber oriented Christmas songs. They bring a nice respite from all the stupidity of the holiday season. So while the masses are busy fighting and robbing over the new Air Jordans, James Taylor and I are relaxing at home with family.
7. Ray Charles – Little Drummer Boy: The original is a weird little song to begin with but throw in the dispute the Mrs and I had the other day and we have a new contender for strangest song on the list. I really don’t understand why this song is as commonly known as it is. Drummers are an odd bunch and I keep imagining Rick Allen of Def Leppard singing this to the baby Jesus. Fortunately Ray took an otherwise odd song and made it awesome.
8. Sufjan Stevens – O Come Emmanuel: Wikipedia says that “It is believed that the traditional music stems from a 15th Century French processional for Franciscan nuns, but it may also have 8th Century Gregorian origins.” Funny. That’s exactly what I was thinking about it. Seriously though, Sufjan is a genius.
9. George Winston – Carol of the Bells: Also known as The Ukrainian Bell Carol, this song is one of Sarah’s favorites, and this version makes me wish I hadn’t quit piano lessons when I was a kid. (Sorry Mom and Dad, you were right, I do regret it.)
10. Mannheim Steamroller – Stille Nacht (Silent Night): Mannheim Steamroller was a Christmas staple in my household growing up, so I may be biased, but this version of Silent Night is the best of all time.
To all of you out there in Bloggo-land*, we wish you a very merry Christmas.
Peace on Earth and good will to men.
Zack and Sarah
*this is in no way a reference to or endorsement of Rod Blagojevich.
Mama didn’t raise no fool. I know that when you truly want something in this world, you have to give something in return. That’s why I showed up at work armed with a couple dozen donuts this morning. Today was my first day on my own, and I knew I had to go in and beg the charge nurse to please, please, please have mercy on my terrified soul. It’s much easier to beg people to do things for you when they’re all, “MMM DONUTS.”
Luckily for me, the proposition worked. She may very well have given me the easiest assignment on the unit today. Also luckily for me, I handled my business. I got things done on time, I had a little extra time to help my nurse-neighbors, and I didn’t have any major catastrophes to deal with. My friends, if that’s not a successful first day, I don’t know what is. Mission Survive Day #1: Accomplished. Now, on to the next mission: Mission Survive Day #2.
PS: As a bonus, I came home to find that Zack went to the liquor store today in a BUY mood. Fancy wine AND fancy tequila? DON’T MIND IF I DO.
Tomorrow is my nursing D-Day. I probably should have watched Band of Brothers all day to get psyched up, but I didn’t. Instead we did Christmas with Zack’s side of the family. Although life with kids can seem chaotic at times, it didn’t remind me of WWII today, which I think means we did Christmas right, but I did Nursing D-Day PsychFest wrong.
My friend and nursing school buddy, Elise, encouraged me by saying that I might have around 20 heart attacks tomorrow, but the odds were low that I would maim or kill anyone. She also kindly pointed out that I get to go home and sleep right after I’m done, so, bonus!
I know it’s strange, but I was encouraged by her words. We nurses are a weird, weird breed.
