It’s pretty straight-forward, really. In Hawaii, they have these teeny little bananas called Apple* Bananas, and Apple Bananas are way, way better than the Non-Apple Banana types of bananas. (Regular bananas? Gross bananas? Dole bananas? I’m not sure of the proper name for the gross variety.)

Apple Bananas are about 1/2 to 1/3rd the size of a typical banana found in an American grocery store, which is perfect because American grocery store bananas are too huge.  Also, Apple Bananas are firmer, slightly more tart, and about 50 times more delicious than grocery store bananas here in the continental US. I ate my body weight in those little mini-bananas while I was on the island – I even hand picked a few bananas from the giant trees growing behind the Dolphin Hotel where we stayed in Hilo (the volcano side of the island).

After we got home from our vacation, all I wanted in this world was to go to the store and get some bananas. I went grocery shopping, I got bananas, and I tore into one on the way home. After the first bite I immediately regretted the following decisions: a.) buying the grocery store bananas, b.) eating said grocery store banana**, c.) foolishly believing that anything from a grocery store could be as good as a thing freshly picked from a wild garden behind a hotel in Hilo, Hawai’i, and d.) adhering to Hawai’i's very strict agricultural laws regarding the import and export of fresh produce.

*If you’re anywhere other than Hawaii, these bananas are called Brazilian Bananas. I didn’t know that before I wrote this post. The internet, man. It’s so full of information.
**Note how this is a singular noun? That’s because the rest of the bananas that I bought are still sitting in the fruit bowl getting (even) gross(er).