In nursing school, we use mannequins to help us study. They look like this:
The mannequins are shockingly life-like. They have mouths and hands and feet and joints. The “joint” part is important. Specifically, they have knee joints.
I arrived at the lab this morning at 6:25 to find that there was a mannequin in one of the beds we use. While it’s important to have the dummies in the bed during Pharmacology Lab, we don’t typically use them for the lab I went to today, which was Fundamentals Lab. This is the lab where we learn to do everything from giving a bed bath to how listen to heart and lung sounds. We always work in pairs, and our partner is usually in the hospital bed. Thus, the bed needs to be not occupied by an adult sized hunk of plastic.
I’m a problem solver. I really love to solve problems. So when I came into the lab and saw that the bed had a mannequin in it that would need to be removed, I started to move the mannequin.
I’ve been told before that these guys weigh about 70ish lbs. 70ish pounds isn’t that heavy if you’re using the leverage of dummy arms to support the weight on your shoulders. It’s the same principle that somehow makes giving piggy back rides to people who weigh 100 lbs. more than you a feasible option. (I didn’t say smart. I just said feasible.)
As I was pulling the dummy out of the bed, I was thinking about proper weight management. I was not thinking about how to best avoid the dummy’s knee from touching my inner thigh.
Because as the dummy’s knee went from ‘bent’ to ‘extended’ while it was pressed against my inner thigh, it took a considerable chunk of my inner thigh and folded it into the plastic knee joint. In layman’s terms, IT PINCHED THE SHIT OUT OF MY LEG.
After hours of icing, the vertical swelling and the overt purple hues have subsided, leaving behind a large, painful, red, aggravated, blood-filled area that is sensitive to both pressure and even the slightest touch.
Best I can figure, it was revenge of the mannequins day. After laying dormant for years, the dummy in bed #2 finally got his long awaited opportunity to torture a nursing student as he has been tortured for so many years.
I’m never going to move a mannequin ever, ever, ever again.